Writing is Easy. . .

To start off with a quote from Gene Fowler:
“Writing is easy: all you do is sit staring at a blank sheet of paper until the drops of blood form on your forehead.”

Today I spent some time reading up on Benoit Mandelbrot and Nassim Taleb about fractal geometry, chaos theory and the financial market.  I came home from work today in the mood for some meaningful conversation.  But my son, Jason, who is my chief conversator in the home is at work tonight. That leaves Alicia to talk to at the dinner table.  The conversation went like so -
     "Stop looking at me!"
     "I'm having a conversation with you.  I usually look at people I talk to."
      "I don't like eye contact."  All this was said with her napkin on top of her head to hide her face.

     Over the weekend I take her to Walmart to buy new glasses to replace the ones she sat on. As she tries on a pair of frames, she turns to me and says, "Stop looking at me."  The optician smiled as she said, "oh, so we've hit that stage, have we?"

Who Am I? Well, Who Do You Think I Am?

Most bloggers start out by describing themselves in regards to the roles they play in others' lives. For example, I am a mother, daughter, sister, I have x number of children, I work as a __________, and so on. While all those things are true of me they aren't who I am. They are what I do for others. And if one were to ask my children, my family, my co-workers, my ex's who I am, one would receive many different answers, and I probably wouldn't agree with any of them.

When asked in the past, I would answer, "I am a tinker, tailor, soldier, spy." Which wasn't a lie. I do fix things when they break, I quilt, I started out after college by joining the army and my specialty was in military intelligence. But it wasn't the answer people wanted because it doesn't answer the question, who are you?

I've always have a hard time answering this question "So, tell me about yourself." I wander, what is it people want to know about me? What information do people use to determine if I am -

Friend or Foe?

Interesting or Not?

Helpful/Useful or a Waste of Time?

So I took the Meyers-Briggs test to find out. Turns out I am an INTJ Introverted Intuitive Thinking Judging. Based on the description, I would say that is a pretty good fit and a good starting point.

I found out that others think the following of me.

I live in the world of ideas and strategic planning. I value intelligence, knowledge, and competence, and typically have high standards for myself and others. Very true. I have to agree with that assessment. My aunt would always tell me I don't suffer fools lightly.

INTJs focus their energy on observing the world, and generating ideas and possibilities. Their mind constantly gathers information and makes associations about it. They are tremendously insightful and usually are very quick to understand new ideas. I am a quick thinker and make a living analyzing things and figuring out if ideas will work. So I'll accept this as well.

But here's the downside. The internal form of the INTJ's thoughts and concepts is highly individualized, and is not readily translatable into a form that others will understand. So I don't always try to explain myself. It takes too long and I have to be convinced the other person is worth the effort.

Other people may have a difficult time understanding an INTJ. They may see them as aloof and reserved. Indeed, the INTJ is not overly demonstrative of their affections, and is likely to not give as much praise or positive support as others may need or desire. That doesn't mean that he or she doesn't truly have affection or regard for others, they simply do not typically feel the need to express it. Guilty as charged. And boy do I need to work on that! So if you are out there and reading this, and I know you well, know that I love you and think of you often. And if I don't tell you how proud of you I am, please know that I show my love by what I do or how I spend my time. I spend it on you.

This blog is in part my effort to take the ideas that occur to me, and place them in a linear, easy to understand order. To make the effort to share who I am, in a way that makes sense.